I think we all know what the crane game is. A bunch of stuffed animals tossed in a plastic box, where anyone with dexterity and fifty cents can wrangle a completely useless item for their beloved child. Well, that's a crock of shit. It doesn't actually cost fifty cents- it costs countless dollars, in which your spouse will verbally abuse you to dig around in your purse for. And those animals are sitting in there haphazardly? Bullshit. They are trapped. They are smashed deep into each other in a plastic, cube shaped, fucking death trap. The person who designed this game is a masochist. The grabber doesn't even go to the sides of the cube, and it doesn't even close all the way. This "game" is disgusting. All the while, those shitty stuffed animals, that you will donate to the local shift shop in matter of weeks, are flaunted in your poor kids face. A two year old obviously doesn't get it. And once you have played the game, you don't get it anymore either. All you know is that you are looking like a hopeless asshole in front of your panic stricken offspring. All over a stupid white stuffed bear wearing a stupid frigging Mets jersey. Full blown 'mission mode' ensues. Girth was "that guy" at the mall today. My kid was "that kid". I was "that lady" digging through the liner of my purse for quarters. It was hopeless. Girth actually asked me to go outside, and dig quarters out of the car. Seriously. That whore of a game had him entranced. I swear it single handedly makes parents look incompetent and useless. I can see why kids end up trapped in those machines...due to parents who have obviously reached rock bottom. Seriously though. The inventor of this fucking contraption hated their parents, and they hate children. There is no other reasonable explanation. They are completely deranged. It's absolutely perfect though- if you want to teach your kid that winning isn't everything, while your beating on the window and acting like a psychopath...good luck with that.
Lesson in Failure, number one.
Haha every single time I bring Collen anywhere he has me wasting money well Grandpa does running through my purse for quarters and I flat out tell him in the beginning "you see they are all stuck and the thing is not strong enough to even pick it up" he walks away sad every time.. Well along with fishing we took him fishing and his Grandfather cannot catch a fish to save his soul. Sad faced again.. He did manage to catch his own perch though at Trinas Graduation party so he is a very happy fisher boy now..
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to this. My daughter begs to play and I always end up walking away with a heartbroken, screaming child & feeling like "worst mother of the year", who is a huge failure lol. My husband seems to get lucky though, thank god, so I guess it makes up for it. I hate those machines!
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