There is that one week, normally on schedule, where rational behavior takes a backseat, and neurosis hops in the drivers seat. There is just an ominous aura about a woman on her period. Men may wonder what they can do, how they can help. Well, the answer is simple. The answer is, shut up. Just shut up. Try not talking during this one week. Think of it as a way to hone your listening skills, or at the very least, the appearance of listening skills. And, buy the tampons.
Yes, I say tampons. Pads disgust me. Why would you want to sit in it? Cork that snootch.
Purchase chocolate with the tampons. Unoriginal, I know, legit none the less. BUT...this is important, when arriving back home from your treasure run, do not SAY that you bought her chocolate. Just lay it down on the counter beside the cooter corks and say nothing. Remember, she's irrational. Your shit may be jumped for buying that chocolate when she's feeling so fat, or, it may be embraced for thoughtfulness. You know damn well this could go either way. If there's trouble, grab that chocolate stash and claim it as your own. BUT- watch your tone. Always, watch your tone. You will know if the candy stash is well received because she will hall balls to a corner and inhale it.
Give up the remote. Let us cry off our faces to Lifetime. Doesn't even matter if its Superbowl Sunday...choose your battles wisely. In the attempt that you challenge this rule, keep in mind that you will miss whatever it is you planned on watching anyways.
Please don't get caught checking out other women during this week. You really will be sealing your own fate.
Period sex. Have it, or don't. Be prepared for repercussions if you say no though. She is hornier than a pet coon. Do not, I repeat, do not, ask for a blowie instead. Actually, if you should be so foolish, you deserve the onslaught.
An employer at a firm in Norway instructed all women on their periods to where red bracelets during their flow-time. Really. It was claimed to be used as a monitor for bathroom breaks, the reasoning for frequent trips. Well, what if I went to work with the shits? Could I have a brown bracelet, so that everyone knew each time I had to take a shit? Monitor restroom breaks my balls. This was probably a safety issue for other office workers. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea at all.
Yes, I say tampons. Pads disgust me. Why would you want to sit in it? Cork that snootch.
Purchase chocolate with the tampons. Unoriginal, I know, legit none the less. BUT...this is important, when arriving back home from your treasure run, do not SAY that you bought her chocolate. Just lay it down on the counter beside the cooter corks and say nothing. Remember, she's irrational. Your shit may be jumped for buying that chocolate when she's feeling so fat, or, it may be embraced for thoughtfulness. You know damn well this could go either way. If there's trouble, grab that chocolate stash and claim it as your own. BUT- watch your tone. Always, watch your tone. You will know if the candy stash is well received because she will hall balls to a corner and inhale it.
Give up the remote. Let us cry off our faces to Lifetime. Doesn't even matter if its Superbowl Sunday...choose your battles wisely. In the attempt that you challenge this rule, keep in mind that you will miss whatever it is you planned on watching anyways.
Please don't get caught checking out other women during this week. You really will be sealing your own fate.
Period sex. Have it, or don't. Be prepared for repercussions if you say no though. She is hornier than a pet coon. Do not, I repeat, do not, ask for a blowie instead. Actually, if you should be so foolish, you deserve the onslaught.
An employer at a firm in Norway instructed all women on their periods to where red bracelets during their flow-time. Really. It was claimed to be used as a monitor for bathroom breaks, the reasoning for frequent trips. Well, what if I went to work with the shits? Could I have a brown bracelet, so that everyone knew each time I had to take a shit? Monitor restroom breaks my balls. This was probably a safety issue for other office workers. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea at all.
Good luck.
"In the attempt that you challenge this rule, keep in mind that you will miss whatever it is you planned on watching anyways. " lol Awesome
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