Monday, November 11, 2013

It's all in a name.

Nineteen weeks and the jig is up-it's a girl baby!! My excitement was eclipsed by terror, and then excitement won out again. My god. A female. A carbon copy of myself...like my boy baby is already not...holy balls. A family of four lies within the wakes. How is this possible when I do not feel like a grownup? When did I become the matriarch of a small family? How is my goofy husband a hero and role model to a small boy? Who are we, and when did this happen!? Last I knew we were a care-free duo who had sex whenever they wanted.  Now we busy a 4 year old in the kitchen with food or some other item he is not allowed to have so we can jam in a solid three minute trip to pound town. We enforce a strict 8 pm bedtime as well, because sex is a priority. I have a feeling that come Springtime- this new family member is not going to give a shit. Time to configure a new plan. Hopefully after having her, my hormones will level out and I can stop abusing Girth. The pregnant dreams I have are insanely vivid, and all about sex. Lesbian sex included.  I am not above resorting to getting my husband drunk in exchange for sex. Pretty sure he'd like me to be sedated. Everyone also seems very curious as to the name of this new offspring too! Well- there are three contenders, in which I sent a mass message to 7 females under the utmost secrecy, in order too gather opinions. Bottom line, one is a favorite, and I know some real twats. This quickly turned into a funfest for the seven of them in making fun of me and my unborn child. Why I have love for these bitches is beyond me. Their opinions are valued though.
 
Charly
 
Lennox
 
Birdie

                 Middle name will be Maylene on which ever one we choose.