Fluff...

I need to know why some ladies do not fart in front of their boyfriends/husbands. What do you do with all of your farts? Where do you put them? How do you hide them? What if you have to poop? I have a friend who has been with her husband for over 10 years...she has never, NEVER ripped ass in front of him. Is that even possible? She completely has her asshole on lock down. That is control like I have never imagined. They live in the same house and she freaks if she has to poop when he isn't at work. He has seen babies fly out of her vagina, but farting and pooping is too personal? Too what?? I don't understand. Now, I get it...not all girls are gross like me. However, I just don't get the reason it is so important that you simply cannot do it. I think the worry is worse than the actual thing, I just don't get what the worry is for. Once when I was about 16/17 with a brand new boyfriend, I was sitting on his lap laughing all prettily and flirty when my butthole erupted. Not only was it my first time farting in front of him, but I did it right on top of him. He didn't skip a beat though, and threw me right on the floor. He loved it. But mostly, I think he loved that I laughed about it. My husband now has seen me way beyond farting. Once when I was pregnant, naked from the waist down, bent over the table talking on the phone, he wanted to be all cute. Sneaked up behind me and put his face right in my butt...excellent timing since I farted right into his eyes. He rolled around on the floor for about 10 minutes screaming about how he had pink eye. Another time in my fabulous ninth month of pregancy, hornier than a two-peckered billy goat, we couldn't even have sex because I kept farting. Every movement I made, they just kept rolling out. Girth laughed, but I was so horny and mad that I laid there farting and crying. Now thats a sad site. 160 pounds of sad, farting baby house rolling around. So, I may be a little extreme, but still...how can a girl just NOT ever do it?! I assure you, your husband or boyfriend will still love you after he hears your noisy butthole. If mine loves me after shitting on the front seat of his car, yours will love you, should you let a little fluff in your pants.

You won't shit a T-bone, but it will be close to being that awesome...