Meat & Potaters.

Well, this Mondays blog was the idea of a huge boobed lass that I ran into the other night. Since I am not a name dropper of all the celebutants around me, we will just call her, E. Snatchel. Being the gem that she is, she wondered what I would do with a penis for one day. For starters, I would have smacked E. Snatchel in the eye with it, because the question SHOULD have been, what wouldn't I do with that son of a bitch...woohooo!!!

Holy balls, a wiener for a day...well, I hope it would be big, because I would have big plans for it! Since I am a female, endowed on the top, if I got a wiener, I will just assume that, that as well would be jumbo sized. So, upon opening my eyes on my first morning of swinging anatomy, I would cry at the sight of my morning boner. I'd probably pull it back and smack it off my belly button a couple times. And then I would immediately beat the bologna up. Feeling refreshed for the day ahead of me, and as much as I would probably just want to carry it around in my hand like a prize all day, I would pick out the perfect outfit to package my package in. My smile and ding-a-ling would be in straight up competition all day long, so big. Throughout the day I would show it to all my friends, and convince one of them to let me mushroom stamp them. I would also sneak in a  tea-bag...because sometimes it's just nice to not be on the receiving end of things. Sneaking off to paddle the pickle every chance I got would suffice until I found someone to hump. This might be a problem though. See, I'm going to want to do all the filthy things with that thing too, but finding a willing participant may not be so easy. It's probably ok though, I probably won't be able to keep my hands off it myself. It's going to feel so badass taking pisses too. I'm going to piss everywhere. I might piss right on someone, and I would pecker check at the urinals...you know guys do that shit all the time. I'm going to twist it and bend it, become best friends with it. I would write my name in the snow, hang a towel off my boner, and make my pee-hole talk. No, I didn't forget I would get a nutsack. Those guys would get shifted from leg to leg just for the hell of it, and I would roll them around like stress balls constantly. I'd probably pull the skin of my balls up over my wiener so it looked like a 3-pak. And at the end of the day, when our fun is through, before he goes, I will let someone kick me in the dick & balls. I know, I know. It's just, if I am going to get the experience, I gotta take the lows with the highs. Then he will be gone. I won't say bye though, I will say see you later.

See you later, meat and potaters.

XOXO