Hair-do's.

Today I was pondering vagina's. Not really in a gross way, but more like haircuts. You see, girls will check out guys and be like, "Oh...I bet he's got a big one!", or, "Nahhh...it's probably not worth the work in pulling down the zipper". You're a liar if you say you have never done it, or haven't had a friend do it. Anyway, I wonder if guys do anything similar. Maybe they see a girl and are like, "Woah. I bet she totes around a giant seventies bush. Complete furburger". Or maybe they see a hotsy totsy flouncing her shit around a club or bar, and figure she's got her floors waxed. I wonder how far that judgement goes in approaching someone. I guess if I were single I wouldn't be sprinting toward the guy that I assumed had the smallest wiener in the room. For a guy though, it's different. They like different hairstyles. Some like a complete throw-back in the pants, bring on the sixties! Others are fond of a sleek landing strip. The worst though, I think, is when it is ALL gone. It's just too creepy and pre-adolescent looking.I'm not even sure that it is an appropriate hairstyle for anyone with an "outty". Don't even get me started on the descriptive process, or the "inny" vs. "outty" debate. There have been arguments and demonstrations held. Straight up anatomy classes have taken place in my bathroom. People got schooled. Don't get me wrong, I have to do it from time to time, all the shapes and festive things I attempt, sometimes I just need to shave the slate clean. Girth gets pissed when I do it, he is repulsed by it. Aside from that, it's not the best hair-do for an ugly vag. Not saying I have an ugly muff, but, you know what I mean. Though it did become "pudgy"...not sure if it is normal for that area to gain a smidgen of weight, but it happened. Which is why when I wear things like yoga pants, Girth is relentless. He insists that I have a, "Ken doll dick". Meaning no anatomy, just a bulgy region. So charming.

The most deceptive panties on earth...