Terrible teens...

A teenager, that's what I will have one day. A friggen teenage boy, with asshole friends, raging testosterone, and who will constantly do dare-devil things that will make my heart stop beating. He will break hearts and have his broken. He's going to have sex and get embarrassing boners at school. I'm probably going to laugh at him when he gets a squeaky voice, and then laugh even more when he yells at me in that voice for laughing at him. Teenage boys are straight up pigs. We should probably start stockpiling food now to feed him when he is in high school. He is probably going to have weird friends hanging out all the time that will eat me out of house & home too. We are going to have to listen to them talk about hot girls, sports, and whatever else boys talk about. I think I will have "the weird kid" Right now he is already "that kid", running around with a derby hat and no pants. What if I hate his girlfriend? What if I walk in on him masturbating? What if I catch him having sex?! Something tells me that having a toddler is as easy as it gets. Terrible twos my balls, terrible teens is more like it. I'm sure he will be a great boy, after all, his development is in our hands, but lets face facts, some things are inevitable. One day I will have to ground him, send his friends home, tell him his girlfriend will absolutely never sleepover, get a midnight phone call to pick him up from a friends house because he has been drinking, or find a sticky/crispy clean-up sock in his room. As frightening all this is for me, I think what is most important is maintaining the realization that high school is insane. He will experiment. He will make some bad choices. He will get a trampy girlfriend. I will cry and so will he. He might not always admit that I am his best friend, but I know I always will be.

No matter how big he gets, he will just have to accept the fact that when I look at him, this is all that I can see. My small sized bubby.