When I take a shower, I am actually still just sitting in the bathtub. Always done it, love it. So, I am showering the other day and in pops Girth. This never happens, you know...because we are married. So I am sitting there, and he is standing there washing his hot bod. I being the poster child for pregnancy piggishness, immediately want to partake in sexual activity. Except when I turn around, because he was actually going to receive a beej...he peed on me. I begin scrambling around in the bottom of the bathtub, while he towers over me unleashing his bladder upon me laughing like a psychopath. If I was into Golden Showers, this would be cool- but I am not. And, he doesn't know it yet, but he done fuckedddddd upppp (insert sassy deep voice for effect). I asked him how he could just pee on me while I was sitting there, relaxing, letting the water hit me looking all naked and beautiful. He replies:
"You mean like a fat mermaid?"
Oh. Alright, alright. We can play that game. I inform him of how he just lost out on a filthy shower Blow J.
Terror filled his eyes.
Followed by sadness.
Then by hope.
Now he's coming at me with a boner, and I'm like- NO. And shoved the plastic Cinderella hair rinsing cup over his cock & balls, making a cool suction noise, and it stuck there.
"You got a princess on yo' dickkkkk!!!!" (deep sassy voice again). He didn't get one either. I am the keeper of the beej and what I say goes. Hopefully he chalks this up as a lesson learned & keeps his stream in check.
One other thought...I think for Girth on V-day I shall get my vag waxed into a heart, dye it red, and shoot hershey kisses out of her like a cannon. Sounds cool, right? Don't anyone steal my plans now, ya hear!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Say something!