12 Inches.

As I was sitting outside the other day, there was a tape measure beside me. So, I'm screwing around with it and stretch it out to twelve inches. And, woah, woah, hold the phone. Immediately I think about wieners. A twelve inch salami. Is that really necessary?? It would be a monster, completely intimidating...no way. Maybe it was just the tape measure, but that thing would seem impossible to hold back in a pair of jeans. Like they would need an industrial strength zipper or something. I don't know if it is just the tape measure that makes it look so much more intense, but surely, a guy with foot long wang could tickle his own nipple with his boner. I held the tape measure down my leg, then at my muffin, bent it to see where the springy boner would hit me. It seemed unnatural. Not me having a dick being unnatural, but the size of it. This also left me completely perplexed as to why girls run to a million inch wiener. How is that even the important part? It's most definetly the circumference on that sucker. A guy could have 10, 11, 12 inches in his pants, but if it has got the width of uncooked pasta, no dice. No one wants that, I wouldn't think so anyways. It's like your inviting damage to your rib cage. Like you're just asking someone to knock your ovaries around like pool balls. If I ever had a 12 incher sprung on me, I'd probably use the balls as a springboard and pole vault right on out of the room on that son of a bitch.

This the only type of 12 inches that is getting near my lips.