The muffin ma'am...

First off, I should just say that this is going to be about the diet that I never actually do. And the working out that I never actually do either. If you don't care to hear about it for the millionth time then I am sorry. Instead of reading this, you could make me a sandwich. No chips, I don't like them. Two pickles though, thanks.
So, this past week I was all set, feeling motivated, which comes in spurts so I try and ride it out as long as possible. Day one, well I should say morning one, everything is fine, chugging water, no face stuffing. Later that night, a friend brings me over an obscene amount of snacks. Obviouslyyyy I have to eat them out of the house so that they aren't sitting around tempting me. Day two, again, hitting that water like champ. Won a free Domino's pizza at two in the afternoon. Celebrated my winnings by eating pizza rolls for lunch, ate my winnings on day number three for dinner. A friend left his burned copies of P90X here, lucky nuts me! Or so I thought...They won't play in the console.
Although I would like to be a smaller version of what I am now, I don't dislike what I have either. It's thick, but it's good. Sometimes I just feel like a meatball (which I love), when I would rather feel like the noodle. I just get so mean when I am hungry. Plus, I guess if I wanted some weight gone I would feel motivated. Oh, man, I wonder if this is how Gilbert Grapes mom felt in the beginning?! The other upside to shedding a few pounds is that Girth will stop making fun of me and saying I have a mooseknuckle. I'll admit, I might hold weight in some non-traditional spaces. It leaves me with somewhat of a chunky muffin. Are vaginas even suppose to put on weight? Meh, whatever. I don't even know how to exercise it away...I assume it will sneak out as it sneaked on.

Good luck eating your morning muffin without thinking about the muffin in my pants...