I decided to do Top 5 grossest moments of people that I know. Naturally, I am surrounded by a bunch of sick-os. So, here are the stories that people gave me. Number 5 being a hogepodge of things from a few people, then the countdown to the number one best moment that people are glad never happened to them.
5. Anytime backdoor action is involved, their is potential for the terrifying moment of the withdrawal. Poop dick is no joke. Who cleans it? Who's fault is it?
Get all drunk and think your a sexy wild cat crawling across the bed, only to fall off onto your face and ruin the moment by getting all bloodied up.
Locked out of your dorm room naked while drunk, thinking that making a dash to your car because you might have a change of clothes in there...yeah, wicked good thinking.
4. A couple of guys go for a night on the town, they find a couple of ladies. Back at the room, they get it on. Hook-ups, one night stands, whatever. The problem actually doesn't arise until the morning. The four of them are trying to enjoy breakfast together and the one dude looks like he murdered someone the night before...hands all covered in dried blood. Of course a production was made because he though he was actually wounded. The revelation did not take long to travel around the table to the girl with embarrassment written across her face.
3. Once there was a girl, who in her twenties had yet to ever wear a tampon. I also happen to be a part of this story. So, at Fairhaven one day, she wants to use one to swim, so I tell her how to cram it in. Throughout the day she is bitching and I just figure she is being a pussy. But, when we go to leave, in he parking lot with our bathingsuits on, she starts freaking out and needs the tampon out of her. Won't walk, won't move, just starts tugging on it. Panic sets in, because she can't get it out. This is where she enlists me. Behind the car door in the parking lot, I am trying to spring a tampon from her muff. It really wouldn't budge. Finally, after thinking I was ripping off her vagina, it flew out. Applicator and all...I have idiot friends.
2. A lady I know, had some sex. She forgot to take out her tampon, for what I believe was an inebriated sex sesh. After the sex, she popped in another tampon. None the wiser, a couple days passed by before she started to smell "something". With a little research, she detected the source. The forgotten cork. Jammed pretty much up to her throat, it seem irretrievable. No fear though, her husband dug it out while she straddled his poor head. The smell, the view, the trauma. I would have beat her to death with it, instead he has kept her and loved her for 20+ years. He is a trooper.
1. There's a dad, that a girl I know thinks is quite handsome. Well, said girl was strolling through her house with her hand down the front of her pants. Apparently she just likes to occasionally pet her muffin. Well, she had no idea that someone was at her front door, in the summertime, when he could clearly see into her house. She is not positive she was seen, though chances are extremely slim that he did not see her pass by...what she is positive of though, is that she had to write him out a certain something that he came there for...with her filthy little cooter diddling paw.
5. Anytime backdoor action is involved, their is potential for the terrifying moment of the withdrawal. Poop dick is no joke. Who cleans it? Who's fault is it?
Get all drunk and think your a sexy wild cat crawling across the bed, only to fall off onto your face and ruin the moment by getting all bloodied up.
Locked out of your dorm room naked while drunk, thinking that making a dash to your car because you might have a change of clothes in there...yeah, wicked good thinking.
4. A couple of guys go for a night on the town, they find a couple of ladies. Back at the room, they get it on. Hook-ups, one night stands, whatever. The problem actually doesn't arise until the morning. The four of them are trying to enjoy breakfast together and the one dude looks like he murdered someone the night before...hands all covered in dried blood. Of course a production was made because he though he was actually wounded. The revelation did not take long to travel around the table to the girl with embarrassment written across her face.
3. Once there was a girl, who in her twenties had yet to ever wear a tampon. I also happen to be a part of this story. So, at Fairhaven one day, she wants to use one to swim, so I tell her how to cram it in. Throughout the day she is bitching and I just figure she is being a pussy. But, when we go to leave, in he parking lot with our bathingsuits on, she starts freaking out and needs the tampon out of her. Won't walk, won't move, just starts tugging on it. Panic sets in, because she can't get it out. This is where she enlists me. Behind the car door in the parking lot, I am trying to spring a tampon from her muff. It really wouldn't budge. Finally, after thinking I was ripping off her vagina, it flew out. Applicator and all...I have idiot friends.
2. A lady I know, had some sex. She forgot to take out her tampon, for what I believe was an inebriated sex sesh. After the sex, she popped in another tampon. None the wiser, a couple days passed by before she started to smell "something". With a little research, she detected the source. The forgotten cork. Jammed pretty much up to her throat, it seem irretrievable. No fear though, her husband dug it out while she straddled his poor head. The smell, the view, the trauma. I would have beat her to death with it, instead he has kept her and loved her for 20+ years. He is a trooper.
1. There's a dad, that a girl I know thinks is quite handsome. Well, said girl was strolling through her house with her hand down the front of her pants. Apparently she just likes to occasionally pet her muffin. Well, she had no idea that someone was at her front door, in the summertime, when he could clearly see into her house. She is not positive she was seen, though chances are extremely slim that he did not see her pass by...what she is positive of though, is that she had to write him out a certain something that he came there for...with her filthy little cooter diddling paw.
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