I figured I would also give a brief rundown of Riots worldly entrance.
1. My water broke at home, at the dining room table while I sat in a chair with no pants on. I jumped up, running to the bathroom with fluid flying out of my vag, hurdled over my cat who was stretched out in the hallway and sat on the toilet. There was a trail all through the house from my run, except where my cat was laying, because I slimed her.
2. Only half of my water broke at home, the other half they broke during labor, in which I yelled, "It smells!!!", and Chris simultaneously yelled, "It's on my shoes", all while my sister stood there laughing.
3. 18 hours of labor, 3 epidurals, 45 minutes of pushing, 2 full days with no sleep.
4. The second epidural wore off just before the pushing began, I felt pretty much everything. Because I am spastic, I flailed and kicked over the entire stainless steel tray of vag/baby tools and items in front of me.
5. The third epidural came after Riot flew out of my poor muffin, and my placenta did not detach. My doctor went ahead and got balls deep by reaching her entire hand and arm- all the way up to her elbow into me and pulling. Because I felt as though I was being gutted, and rightfully so, I screamed like a murder victim. The 3rd epidural was administered immediately.
6. I received 5 million stitches from my taint all the way up to the man in the boat. Seriously. I also received a hemorrhoid as a thoughtful parting gift.
7. When the nurse was stitching me up, I would not stop farting. It was like my asshole gulped air for all 18 hours. I kept apologizing, and she would giggle and move her head to the side...it was insane. Just huge gusts of air erupting. my sister and Chris thought it was awesome and the other nurse commented that they sounded like, "cartoon farts".
8. My doctor would not allow pictures or videos to be taken. I was hugely disappointed.
9. Chris was great and petted my hair with a wet cloth the entire time. This regretfully resulted in my after delivery photos looking like I had a greasy mullet.
10. The birth of our child was a shit show, but nothing less than beautiful. And all of these things make me strangely excited to do it all again.
So new. A whole day old.
1. My water broke at home, at the dining room table while I sat in a chair with no pants on. I jumped up, running to the bathroom with fluid flying out of my vag, hurdled over my cat who was stretched out in the hallway and sat on the toilet. There was a trail all through the house from my run, except where my cat was laying, because I slimed her.
2. Only half of my water broke at home, the other half they broke during labor, in which I yelled, "It smells!!!", and Chris simultaneously yelled, "It's on my shoes", all while my sister stood there laughing.
3. 18 hours of labor, 3 epidurals, 45 minutes of pushing, 2 full days with no sleep.
4. The second epidural wore off just before the pushing began, I felt pretty much everything. Because I am spastic, I flailed and kicked over the entire stainless steel tray of vag/baby tools and items in front of me.
5. The third epidural came after Riot flew out of my poor muffin, and my placenta did not detach. My doctor went ahead and got balls deep by reaching her entire hand and arm- all the way up to her elbow into me and pulling. Because I felt as though I was being gutted, and rightfully so, I screamed like a murder victim. The 3rd epidural was administered immediately.
6. I received 5 million stitches from my taint all the way up to the man in the boat. Seriously. I also received a hemorrhoid as a thoughtful parting gift.
7. When the nurse was stitching me up, I would not stop farting. It was like my asshole gulped air for all 18 hours. I kept apologizing, and she would giggle and move her head to the side...it was insane. Just huge gusts of air erupting. my sister and Chris thought it was awesome and the other nurse commented that they sounded like, "cartoon farts".
8. My doctor would not allow pictures or videos to be taken. I was hugely disappointed.
9. Chris was great and petted my hair with a wet cloth the entire time. This regretfully resulted in my after delivery photos looking like I had a greasy mullet.
10. The birth of our child was a shit show, but nothing less than beautiful. And all of these things make me strangely excited to do it all again.
First day home.
Best first day, ever.
Awe, I remember it like it was yesterday! You're one tough momma. Try perineal massage this time around. I didn't tear at all, not a single stitch! It also helped that my midwife had a personal goal of helping me to not tear by taking it slow and applying oil like crazy. It's crazy that no matter how gross the process may be, you still remember it fondly and are willing to do it again :)
ReplyDeleteUmmm... I do not recall being oiled down at all!! I will mention that, for sure.
DeleteOh- and you forgot to mention how huge he was. I remember going to look for him and you said "he's the biggest one in there"... And he was.
ReplyDeleteHahahhaa...his huge size and skin to skin. I still get ridiculed by these guys for skin to skin...hahahaa...
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