I have never lied about so many things in my life, as I have since becoming a mother. I lie to my child constantly.
Example 1) That stupid play area in the food court at the mall. There are always rotten kids running around in there jacking up other kids, unsupervised because their parents are way too concerned with their phones. So, we never usually take him in. Nine out of ten times- I tell him that he can't go in because it is a birthday party and he wasn't invited. Awful, I know. But he is fine with it.
Example 2) Mostly any toy at the store. He "needs" many of these toys, so I have to break the news to him that they are not for sale. Of course I tell him that I will talk to the manager about it, and get it straightened right out. You know, because mommy saves the day.
Example 3) I just started the bathtub up the other day and as I was getting in, I remembered that I have my period. Which obviously means I was corked up. So I pop er' out and toss it in the toilet. Like a scum, never flushed it. Doesn't Riot come strolling in, looks in the toilet and clasps his hands over his mouth. He is concerned and asks what it is.
Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck.
I am not having a tampon talk. Dead mouse it is, so I tell him that. He believes me, but is then very concerned over there being a dead mouse in the toilet. Then he announces that "It is bleedin', mom!! Zombie mouse...AHHHHHH...gonna get meeeee!!"...Great. I heard about zombie mice getting him for the rest of the day.
So, yeah. I lie like it's my frigging job. The kid never would have eaten steak if I hadn't told him it was brown chicken. Best of all though, I will not have a child with entitlement issues...because he is OK with not always getting what he wants. Besides, I can always bribe him with a dozen hot chicken wings.
Example 1) That stupid play area in the food court at the mall. There are always rotten kids running around in there jacking up other kids, unsupervised because their parents are way too concerned with their phones. So, we never usually take him in. Nine out of ten times- I tell him that he can't go in because it is a birthday party and he wasn't invited. Awful, I know. But he is fine with it.
Example 2) Mostly any toy at the store. He "needs" many of these toys, so I have to break the news to him that they are not for sale. Of course I tell him that I will talk to the manager about it, and get it straightened right out. You know, because mommy saves the day.
Example 3) I just started the bathtub up the other day and as I was getting in, I remembered that I have my period. Which obviously means I was corked up. So I pop er' out and toss it in the toilet. Like a scum, never flushed it. Doesn't Riot come strolling in, looks in the toilet and clasps his hands over his mouth. He is concerned and asks what it is.
Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck.
I am not having a tampon talk. Dead mouse it is, so I tell him that. He believes me, but is then very concerned over there being a dead mouse in the toilet. Then he announces that "It is bleedin', mom!! Zombie mouse...AHHHHHH...gonna get meeeee!!"...Great. I heard about zombie mice getting him for the rest of the day.
So, yeah. I lie like it's my frigging job. The kid never would have eaten steak if I hadn't told him it was brown chicken. Best of all though, I will not have a child with entitlement issues...because he is OK with not always getting what he wants. Besides, I can always bribe him with a dozen hot chicken wings.
I work in toys at walmart so when i hear u say i have to talk to a manager illl come around the corner n say can i help u
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