The way those days off go...

 Well, I cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner, Girth did the bird and I handled the rest. Full bellies and no deaths reassure me that everything turned out well. The turk actually turned out pretty awesome. We did make a panic call to his mother at 6 in the morning, had no idea what to do with the plastic ties, since they wouldn't budge. Since they apparently stay, Girth ripped out the jibs, and I threw a couple apples in his asshole and we were well on our way.

We skipped out on the Black Friday shopping...no thanks. I have only been once, and it was to Wal-Mart at midnight. The idea of getting shoved and shanked by an over-zealous, over-caffeinated housewife is not my style. The day before, these women are bragging about their perfect life & blessings, but toss a sale in front of them and they will slit your throat like a crazed sociopath. Obviously half priced dollhouses and deeply discounted bath towels trump all safety standards.

Friday, Girth let me lay around all day and watch my show. I did not move off the couch. Friday night I worked, so that was alright. Though, I am a little fearful that my pull-tab addiction could spiral out of control. Also, I have concluded that seeing people come in sober, and progress to being inebriated is like watching them melt.

Saturday, Girth woke me up after telling me I could sleep in. He paid for that for about the next two hours. He then let me sleep in until 11 on Sunday...instant redemption.

One of these nights, I can't remember which, the sleepy-time slut returned. I woke up and I was beej'ing him. He also woke up during this act of sleep-slopping. Maybe I need to be medicated.

I was peeing last night before getting into bed, Girth was staring at me. As I am wiping my va-jay, he says, "I don't know if it is gross the way that girls wipe or if it is just you."

Me, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Girth, "Well, I don't know if it's the wiping or if it is just you that's disgusting".

OK. Well, I am not sure why he even needed to stare me down while I peed and wiped, but whatever.

Mine.