Things that drive me insane:
1. Skinny girls that do fat cries for attention. Reassure yourself and stop being a twat. On second thought, quit using the opinions of others to determine your own self confidence.
2. Taking a shit at someone else's house, you will absolutely have an endless 20 minute sticky shit, where you use every piece of toilet paper available.
3. Pregnant ladies who eat everything in sight because they are, "eating for two". It's unhealthy, for both. You need nourishment for two, but that does not mean your fetus needs its own Big Mac.
4. The fact that I need to pass Statistics for my degree. And any other math related course. When I do begin my career, all of those matters will be shuffled to the accounting department. Bachelors in Business Management = IDoWhatIWant.
5. When people are talking about their child and they say, "MY whoeveritis". Why is the 'my' necessary? You sound like a pretentious mommy dearest.
6. The invisible force field that prevents Girth's clothes from landing inside the laundry basket, as opposed to beside it.
7. When I am creating a vaginal masterpiece and take too much off, forcing me to get rid of it all and have a naked chicken. I wish I could magically poof a start-over bush back on.
8. A camo shirt, cute boots and a pbr does not make you a cowgirl. That 5 lbs of makeup on your face even says so. And just because you own a red sundress, does not mean Kip Moore was singing about you.
9. Having a business licence means you have a business. Until then, you are simply taking money from local business owners pockets. Specifically falling into that category; photographers & tattoo artists.
10. Lastly, the woman and her children who were at the park the other day while Riot and I were there...As he tried running up the slide, I told him to not do that, to use the park correctly or we would leave. The other woman let her children run right up it. Now, not only does my toddler not understand why he can't but they are, but her kids could have jacked mine up while he was trying to use it correctly. This made me insane, and I wanted to throw playground dirt right in her face and kick her off the swing that she sat her lazy ass on. Maybe if she had spent less time texting, and more time enjoying the park...wow...nevermind. I must look insane to all those others mothers, since I am actually getting physical, running, playing, sliding with mine.
1. Skinny girls that do fat cries for attention. Reassure yourself and stop being a twat. On second thought, quit using the opinions of others to determine your own self confidence.
2. Taking a shit at someone else's house, you will absolutely have an endless 20 minute sticky shit, where you use every piece of toilet paper available.
3. Pregnant ladies who eat everything in sight because they are, "eating for two". It's unhealthy, for both. You need nourishment for two, but that does not mean your fetus needs its own Big Mac.
4. The fact that I need to pass Statistics for my degree. And any other math related course. When I do begin my career, all of those matters will be shuffled to the accounting department. Bachelors in Business Management = IDoWhatIWant.
5. When people are talking about their child and they say, "MY whoeveritis". Why is the 'my' necessary? You sound like a pretentious mommy dearest.
6. The invisible force field that prevents Girth's clothes from landing inside the laundry basket, as opposed to beside it.
7. When I am creating a vaginal masterpiece and take too much off, forcing me to get rid of it all and have a naked chicken. I wish I could magically poof a start-over bush back on.
8. A camo shirt, cute boots and a pbr does not make you a cowgirl. That 5 lbs of makeup on your face even says so. And just because you own a red sundress, does not mean Kip Moore was singing about you.
9. Having a business licence means you have a business. Until then, you are simply taking money from local business owners pockets. Specifically falling into that category; photographers & tattoo artists.
10. Lastly, the woman and her children who were at the park the other day while Riot and I were there...As he tried running up the slide, I told him to not do that, to use the park correctly or we would leave. The other woman let her children run right up it. Now, not only does my toddler not understand why he can't but they are, but her kids could have jacked mine up while he was trying to use it correctly. This made me insane, and I wanted to throw playground dirt right in her face and kick her off the swing that she sat her lazy ass on. Maybe if she had spent less time texting, and more time enjoying the park...wow...nevermind. I must look insane to all those others mothers, since I am actually getting physical, running, playing, sliding with mine.
I may have hit a nerve or two, here and there.
I think it's common knowledge though...that the truth hurts.
You hit the nail on the head! Don't quite get #4 but Love #9! pay taxes people and think about someone else for a change!
ReplyDelete#10 drives me insane as well! The same rule applies to my children too, even on our own slide!
ReplyDeletehahaha. I always love your blogs. But I say my son all the time. Son would just sound funny by itself.
ReplyDeleteWell, yeah. I mean when they put the name of their child after the word, "my". Hahhaaa...Like, MY RIOT, just face planted off the couch...
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